the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
