All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
