She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
