I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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