we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize