i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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