Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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