She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
