He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
