FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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