dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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