god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need moral support for this bender
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
