I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Floor bacon is actually really good
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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