so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
