I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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