Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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