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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  so... how was it???

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy

  Fav 14 856 3196

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?

  Fav 11 2335 924

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

  (614): View more from Ohio

  omg so drunk

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.

  Fav 1 121 75

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?

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