And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.