so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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