Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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(215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m

Replies (17) Good night (698) Bad night (2497)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky

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(513): i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky http://tfl.nu/hn4y

Replies (24) Good night (3115) Bad night (665)
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(416): View more from Ontario

She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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(416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg

Replies (64) Good night (1222) Bad night (6855)
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(559): View more from California

you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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(559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5

Replies (17) Good night (1147) Bad night (4130)
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(631): View more from New York

My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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(631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc

Replies (23) Good night (910) Bad night (2484)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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(709): Is my tampon string too long for this dress? http://tfl.nu/pjcs

Replies (54) Good night (1172) Bad night (6652)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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(248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm

Replies (15) Good night (5371) Bad night (1177)
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(561): View more from Florida

She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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(561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4

Replies (3) Good night (2398) Bad night (945)
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(406): View more from Montana

He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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(406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k

Replies (9) Good night (3215) Bad night (977)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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(44): You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/tfp1

Replies (3) Good night (1281) Bad night (583)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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(404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw

Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (871)
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(253): View more from Washington

Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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(253): Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead. http://tfl.nu/ww0m

Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (430)
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(972): View more from Texas

Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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(972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie

Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (397)
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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing says love like couples STD testing

(972): View more from Texas

Nothing says breakup like the results

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(214): Nothing says love like couples STD testing (972): Nothing says breakup like the results http://tfl.nu/3283

Replies (7) Good night (1671) Bad night (735)
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(619): View more from California

She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.

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(619): She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had. http://tfl.nu/ze7k

Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (189)

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