Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (546)
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(248): View more from Michigan

sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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(248): sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking? http://tfl.nu/8ucv

Replies (1) Good night (1551) Bad night (549)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.

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(414): have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion. http://tfl.nu/gjm1

Replies (68) Good night (646) Bad night (6087)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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(413): The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again. http://tfl.nu/v6ko

Replies (19) Good night (7919) Bad night (1297)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

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(541): I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on. http://tfl.nu/viag

Replies (11) Good night (4073) Bad night (804)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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(787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo

Replies (17) Good night (1264) Bad night (7124)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id

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(519): I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id http://tfl.nu/33hp

Replies (5) Good night (2549) Bad night (1160)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who is this?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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(603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt

Replies (5) Good night (2532) Bad night (879)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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(208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4

Replies (12) Good night (2678) Bad night (617)
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(530): View more from California

I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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(530): I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big http://tfl.nu/j8o0

Replies (8) Good night (1283) Bad night (387)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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(479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah

Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (527)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams

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(703): I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams http://tfl.nu/mq8g

Replies (8) Good night (849) Bad night (511)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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(303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe

Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (411)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.

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(910): Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night. http://tfl.nu/7zcy

Replies (0) Good night (192) Bad night (473)
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(904): View more from Florida

Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.

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(904): Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever. http://tfl.nu/o5og

Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (164)

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