If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.