Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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