Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize