it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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