dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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