You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
