Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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