This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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