Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize