I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
