Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
