Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
