She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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