I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
thus making me awesome and them whores
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
