I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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