Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
