Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
