return my video game
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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