I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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