I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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