1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
