ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
