Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
