so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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