My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
