We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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