i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
