Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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