actually, I'm a sock model
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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