I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I see more hoeing in ur future
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
