I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
