ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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