he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize