Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
