I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize