Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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