it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
