I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
