When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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