I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
