Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
