If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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