Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
