she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
