I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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