i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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