do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is wine microwaveable?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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