I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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