: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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