i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Welp...herpes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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