how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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