Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
