seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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