I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
