You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
